Children and Divorce
"Divorce and paternity are anguishing processes for adults, but they must remember that dissolution and custody issues have the potential to traumatize their children, indelibly injuring them to the extent it may endanger their growth into productive, loving adults."
--- Stacy D. Phillips, Esq. (certified family law specialist, Los Angeles, California)
Your children's well-being must come first. The Children's Bill of Rights in Divorce lists ten steps to ease their emotional pain.
To complete your divorce, if you have unemancipated children together, the court will require written documentation of your custody, parenting time, and child support plan.
Your child support plan should not apply to:
- Stepchildren (either yours or your spouse's)
- Emancipated children
Court procedures in some New Jersey counties want you to submit applicable child support documentation when you schedule the brief court appearance that ends the divorce process; in other counties, you can submit the documentation at the court appearance itself.
Child support documentation usually takes one of two forms:
- Court order: A child support court order previously entered by a hearing officer or judge.
- Agreement: A contract (Marital Settlement Agreement, or MSA) pre-signed by both of you.
Your goal, if you want an uncontested divorce, is to agree on these and possibly other issues:
- Where each child will reside
- Parenting time for the non-custodial parent
- Amount and frequency of support payments
- Insurance
- Day care costs
- Education expenses
- Tax exemptions
Waiving or not seeking child support normally is not an option, because your children have continuing rights to be supported according to the earning abilities of both parents.
An existing child support court order sometimes provides enough documentation to see you through the divorce process. You and your spouse may elect to negotiate and sign an MSA to modify that order.
If no child support order exists and it appears that you won't be able to negotiate an MSA, you may want to begin a simple court process for child support. To keep the divorce itself uncontested, you may want to consider having a hearing officer or judge enter at least a child support order before you begin the divorce process.
Published state child support guidelines suggest approximate child support levels based mostly on the earnings and/or imputed earnings of both parents. Every judge and lawyer uses the same guideline charts to calculate payment amounts and the allocation of other expenses.
Because the income levels of both parents determine the level of child support, you each have a right, enforceable by the court if necessary, to know what the other earns. That right continues until all your children are emancipated, because procedures exist for changes to support levels if financial circumstances of you or your spouse substantially change in the future.